


The Goddess's Task

by iyuuu



Series: The Goddess's Will [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Drama, F/F, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Church Route Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iyuuu/pseuds/iyuuu
Summary: Given a second chance by Sothis, with a great task attached to it, Edelgard struggles with living the same Academy days again without losing her focus, principles, sanity, and newfound faith.A series of Edelgard-centric moments until the war begins in Fódlan for the last time.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & Sothis, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Series: The Goddess's Will [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608160
Comments: 17
Kudos: 180





	1. Of the Task

**Author's Note:**

> Once more, I ask of you to ignore any little mishaps in describing the game's lore. I try to keep as faithful as possible, but I can only do so much with my memories of six months ago and information from Wikia and stuff. I might twist it a bit if it happens to make my work easier, be warned. I gladly take any tips on gross writing errors of any kind.

Edelgard von Hresvelg soon came into the realization that receiving a task from the Progenitor God herself meant it was no easy stroll.

As pretty as it was in theory, “find the truth” was vague, _too_ vague _._ Granted, her combined effort with Hubert's had great potential, since they have been getting ready to go to war with their whole country from the beginning of their teens; still, the duo lost its power when it came to trying to decipher the Goddess’s message. Maybe only Claude could compete with them on how blasphemous and incredulous they had been to the teaching of the Church of Seiros during their life.

 _Had been_ , for the Adestrian heir now held Sothis on great regards. Even if it doesn’t change the fact she had overlooked Her (supposed) Word for five years.

What were the odds that Rhea made up all of it, being a long-living dragon and all?

Their lack of knowledge, henceforth, became one of their first targets: to grasp all they could learn in a short time about the Goddess when she walked on Fódlan. While they skipped through pages of countless holy tales of the Goddess and the Saints in the library, however, the young woman kept trailing back to one of the most obvious leads they had in hands. It is not that she wavered on the probability of their being the source of deception, but rather how ingenuous she might have been to not distrust even more the word of those who slither in the dark.

Who else could have lied to her and used her to make her fight for a false truth more than her uncle?

Hubert consoled her with crafted reasoning becoming of her most trusted advisor. “If we arrive at the accurate motive why they desire to eliminate the Church, I believe the lies shall turn into closest facts for us to grasp.”

“And understanding the mythology of the Church is a starting point common both to get to know the Goddess better and to comprehend why would Thales want to go this far,” Edelgard finished, crossing her arms. He nodded.

“Exactly. It might not be much as of yet, but it is a start.”

The retainer resumed going back to the ancient book at his hands, which his Princess replicated after gazing at his figure for some seconds. With her eyes scanning through a fable about Saint Cetheleann, she spoke on a hushed voice only Hubert could hear. “You are taking this seriously.” 

The lean man rested the book on the table, without turning his golden eyes from its pages. From the corner of her vision, Edelgard saw his mouth twitch.

“Of course I am. I always take everything you say with the utmost care, Lady Edelgard,” he replied in the same tone. “I cannot deny it took me some time to dismiss the idea of your mind having been trampled with, however. Yet, there’s not much to argue against facts.”

Amongst Edelgard’s predictions, besides the detail the mercenary would choose their house, was who Professor Byleth would indicate to the mock battle, Lorenz imprudent advance at them right at the start, as well as what their first mission would be. There was a part of the girl who wished for something to go different from what she remembered, as to rectify her troubled mind and make her believe her encounter with the Goddess was barely an elaborate dream. Still, even Ferdinand’s inconsequential challenges were made with the exact same words, to the point that what bothered Edelgard more was how she could record them so. 

Her personal mission ached every single moment each thing around her moved as she remembered. The notion of punishment intermittently bothered her, who had distrust as _modus operandi_. She knew her traveling back in time was with the purpose of changing something. But how to change only what is necessary, and how to know what it is? If she meddled with a matter unrelated, how would it affect her task? Getting anxious and paranoid with it and seeing nothing would change was the true punishment in the Goddess’s sleeve?

When the doubts came to wreak havoc on her, her skin brought back the sensation of Sothis’s warm palms; and her memory, the feeling through bright green loving eyes surrounded by a verdant halo in dim nothingness. Her chest leaped in comfort with reminiscence then dumped into growing desperation as she recalled light revoking the Goddess from her sight. Her parting words haunted her and her soft smile lingered behind Edelgard’s retina.

When they faded, only green remained in her mind. Her relation with the color was tricky; it was the color of the one who gave her another chance, but also the color Professor Byleth acquired when she began to get further from her reach. And there was one more grim memory attached to it, wasn’t there?

“Hubert,” she called, now louder than a whisper, “how is the Goddess depicted on what you have read so far?”

“Caring, magnanimous, merciful, powerful,” promptly answered him, almost mocking.

She smiled internally with how obvious such adjectives were used. “And her appearance?”

He twitched his brow upwards in scrutiny, proceeding with crossing his arms and touching his chin in a caricatural maneuver he acquired within the years.

“I don’t think I have seen much of it. Is there anything you are looking for, specifically?”

Edelgard shortly thought about her child-like face and body, but soon glared at the final illustration of the tale she was reading, where Saint Cetheleann was gladly receiving the magic fish and giving a prize to the one who gave it to her. Adorning the head was a flock of green tress, a shade darker than Byleth’s after her fusion with the Goddess and lighter than Sothis’s glowing locks, a tone very close to Rhea’s pallet. It was merely a drawing, but the doubt pressured her mind.

“Are all the saints direct children of the Goddess?”

“As far as I’ve read, only Seiros is described as such. The others are referred to as descendants who helped her and your first predecessor in the War of Heroes.” Hubert turned from his book. “What is in your mind, may I ask?”

She squeezed her hands into fists. It was an old painting, yet it tried to instill an irrational idea on her working brain.

If her being rational was what made her lose, then let senseless theories and crude faith take over. She would not win doing the same thing over and over, being the same Edelgard again.

“Saint Cetheleann is drawn with green hair,” the words drove out of her lips in relief. “Are also the other saints like that?”

“Indech and Cichol are the only ones I have studied so far, but now that you comment…” he shuffled back the pages of the book in front of him, narrow eyes going from his liege to their object of discussion. “Green hair.” 

Was she entitled to feel blessed and enlightened? The princess fought the smile creeping up to her mouth and lost.

“I’m under the impression green-haired people might have a relation with the Goddess.”

Her retainer drummed his fingers on the table, not quite leaving his gaze from the old pages. Edelgard recalled it was an older, War-time Hubert’s habit. It never came to her it might have initiated back on Garreg Mach. Could their quest be bringing it up sooner, or it simply escaped her the notion of some of her longest companion’s little quirks?

“Do you happen to be inferring to the Archbishop?”

They stared at each other, eyes full of understanding and reaching the same wavelength. The face behind the Flame Emperor reminded of how her twisted allies used the Death Knight at a certain event yet to occur.

“Not only her.” This time, Edelgard did not try to contain her triumphant smile. She silently wondered if Sothis was proud of her at that moment. “Let’s look into the children of the Goddess.” 


	2. Of Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That god does not exist, I cannot deny  
> That my whole being cries out for a god, I cannot forget"  
> Jean-Paul Sartre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta-ed and if I keep reading it myself I might give up posting, so here it is. At some point I will fix one thing or another.

When dawn showed its first signs through the window, Edelgard had no option but to admit sleep had failed her one more night. On her first time around, nightmares about her days at the dungeon were a given occurrence most frequently than not. Living for a decade after seeing for the first time the light of day with two Crests running in her blood, they never got ignorable, but her trained mind found ways to not let the painful memories get the best of her. She had worries way more pressing every day after starting a war; there was no time to suffer because of shackles on her wrist, screams of numerous pitches buzzing her ears, cold stone freezing her skin and rats passing by almost making her faint.

Then, she lost the war.

The Goddess said that her defining past could not be changed, that her siblings could only achieve their eternal gruesome fate. Edelgard had already accepted this truth, there was no saying otherwise. She was prepared for her natural lack of sleep and livid memories claiming the moments her eyelids shut down from absolute lack of energy. Somehow, the lone heir of the Empire felt she could deal with them with new eyes. Her body was again almost eighteen, but her experience was already far from that. Even if with a new purpose, her primary one was that no breathing soul should pass through that living hell, and not even the Progenitor God could change it. The nightmares would keep her in line should she ever stray too much from it.

It is what she thought, at least.

Do not be mistaken: she still had her aim at changing Fódlan. However, the last two months had been quite troublesome ones regarding nightmares, for the people dying on it were not her lost siblings.

After Professor Byleth saved her life by stopping time – or should she say when Sothis stopped time? – Edelgard certainly had been surprised by the sensation of rewinding. Commencing her school life once more in Garreg Mach with knowledge of future and a task to achieve, though, she did not give more thought to that apparently isolated episode.

On their first mission outside school’s grounds and constant vigilance, which was defeating the incapable bandits who attacked her and the other house leaders, the Adestrian former and future Emperor presumed they would glide through the battle with the same ease as before. And everything about it was occurring the same way she remembered until she heard a familiar cry in the middle of it. Looking back, Edelgard lost her breath when the bloody figure of Linhardt with an axe craved on his left side dropped to the ground. The mixed feelings of sheer terror and boiling anger debated inside her while she contemplated what to do in that unexpected situation. Her muscles burned with contractions and got prepared to dash and revenge her classmate, but before they could make her move, a familiar nauseous sensation rose to her stomach and then all the colors around her became shades of purple. She couldn’t move her body or feel it at all, yet she saw the distressed version of her teacher monotonous mask as Byleth got closer to the fallen student and put a hand on her hair, frowning to the scene. She looked around, mostly at the brigand responsible for Linhardt’s lifeless eyes, and nodded after some minutes of analysis.

Then, as if rehearsed, Edelgard watched the scenario and everyone on it moving back undoing previous movements, with her body doing the same. When colors came back, she found herself meters before engaging the last bandit she had killed.

“Ferdinand, I need you to give support to our rearguard. Linhardt and Bernadetta might have a problem if someone comes from our left in surprise while most of us advance,” the Professor spoke with a resolute and unwavering tone.

The Prime Minister’s son nodded to the order and stayed back. Edelgard received once more the instruction to advance leading Hubert and Dorothea and took more seconds to process it than before, only acquiescing it and running with her companions after hearing a worried ‘Lady Edelgard?’ on her side.

She wanted to ask what just happened, she wanted to unload her stomach to the ground, she wanted to cry, she wanted to unleash her ire of almost losing an innocent and peaceful classmate. But the girl only proceeded to fight, giving her blows more power than before. Again, her memories served as preparation for each attack, which allowed her to lead Hubert and Dorothea with due foresight. And as she remembered, Kostas was left alone after his allies were occupied engaging her classmates.

If not everything would be exactly the same, she was not supposed to follow the script in her memories. Edelgard ran towards the leader, uncertainty of the task given by the Goddess fueling her. Would the next days still be the same? Or could they change at some point? What was supposed to be her role, in the end?

The doubts cramped inside her head, and the house leader parried a direct attack from the one who almost killed her before. Although their techniques and skill were almost akin, she lacked on brute force when comparing their bodies, and Kostas took the best of her. He forced her to open her guard and prepared to drop the finishing blow.

Edelgard felt numb and her racing thoughts shut down. The blade sinking in her direction was the only thing in her mind. How foolish of her, to make hasty decisions with doubtful impetus. And for what? Dying not much long after being revived? Or to prove the point she was not going mad?

Her trance was broken with a strained cry of her teacher calling her name.

And purple drenched the world one more time.

The nauseous feeling came back to her chest and rewind made her undo it all until she was with her retainer and the former opera singer again. She wished the turning back of time could erase her troubled mind as well.

Her breath started yet again, and she was watching Kostas alone. This time, she dared not advance imprudently, and before she could think twice about it, the Princess heard her name being called. No longer strained, but rather commanding, it was succeeded by the instruction of following its owner. The twisted knot in her brain was so that Edelgard barely tried to comprehend what was going on anymore. When her steps found the same rhythm as Byleth’s, she glanced at the collected visage of the former mercenary, the same she recalled watching countless times in a battle. Devoid from the concerned marks of seeing a dead student, not even close to having pain in her voice calling to her.

Like those moments Edelgard watched never existed at all.

They defeated Kostas, but somehow the platinum-haired girl felt the loss was not only his.

The aftermath of their first mission was much heavier than she remembered. Most of them, meaning all but herself and Hubert, stained their hands with blood for the first time and began to understand the meaning of that. Their march was silent, a mutual understanding that there was no reason to rejoice killing other human beings. Even Caspar, enthusiastic and ever thirsty for action, compromised to their unsaid vow. Edelgard had walked with her back straight, no new weight on her shoulders, for it was nothing compared to what she already been through and would have to bear again in the future; however, now she felt like the holder of an agonizing secret that crushed the remnants of her broken soul.

As brilliant as her teacher was, she was not perfect and their group was pretty inexperienced in battle, which was fairly compensated by Goddess-given powers. The implications of that were many and she had no heart to elaborate on them. But the greatest of them, how unforgiving reality could be, excavated its way out to torment her nonetheless.

Her colleagues brightened up progressively in the week after coming back from their mission, in contrast to her constantly detached mood. Albeit Hubert said no words regarding this, Edelgard could feel his vigilant gaze on her and the different tone whenever he called out to her, mainly during their research time. Dorothea, in another hand, first sought her for advice on how to deal with what they were enrolled there to learn, then began to make the Imperial representant company as much as she could during intervals and free time. Her eyes were much more honest in their worry towards the house leader than Hubert’s, not to mention her eventual conversation when Dorothea would express something being amiss with her friend.

A week before their departure to conceal Lonato’s uprising, they were talking over lunch, when the former singer brought up the theme again.

“Edie, really, you have to vent about whatever is troubling you. You’re not one of the most cheerful persons I’ve met, but since our mission, you’ve reached another level of aloofness. I used to think it was for the same reason the whole class was depressed for a week, but we both know it’s something more than that,” she complained after some minutes of frustrating silence between topics.

“As I’ve said, Dorothea, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Edelgard replied, though not able to meet the other’s eyes. “All that happened was that my insomnia worsened after our travel. Changing the environment is an important trigger to it.”

Her friend sighed and leaned her chin on her right hand, a move that got her reminded of Sothis. “If you say so. How stubborn.”

After some more minutes of silence, as if unable to stand it, she spoke up again.

“You know, whenever I’m feeling down and can’t pinpoint a good reason, I go to the Cathedral. Praying for the Goddess and singing in Her name is a marvelous way to cheer up.”

Edelgard hummed in recognition and silently prayed that Dorothea did not notice her brow furrowing. The platinum-haired girl wondered what the brunette would think if she knew such Goddess was not as powerful as she imagined, and that her true power was the very reason Edelgard felt amiss and cheated. Or if she would still be so focused on her wellbeing when their next mission came, the thought of it getting the time traveler dreading already.

Hesitation might be the end of oneself, and fighting against people you thought you should be protecting rather than fighting was the perfect scenario for the behavior to appear.

She remembered the mission being harsh, her comrades unsure of the weight of their new task, with some getting minor injuries because of such. But the horror show she witnessed was beyond that. If Linhardt lifeless body and the axe’s blade almost at her forehead were giving her trouble, Edelgard found out that watching her whole class dying – the first one being Hubert after an ambush – presented her a fertile terrain for new nightmares to plague her mind.

Two weeks later and classmates walking around as if they didn’t _die_ in front of her, to the point she sometimes wondered if the true nightmare was they being alive to be taken away from her again, Edelgard realized she might be around her limit. Even when awake, she would look at Dorothea and see her mouth shedding blood; Bernadetta with her neck barely connected to her head; Petra pained from losing one limb; Ferdinand with an arrow on his left eye; Caspar and Linhardt showing their guts around; and Hubert without his jaw. Not to mention the pain she felt herself on the chest whenever a whistle traveled through the wind and reached her ear, mimicking the sound an arrow which lodged into her heart briefly made.

Yes, her limit was near, even if she was not sure whether she was still about to reach it or beyond it. That is the only acceptable explanation for her being in front of the Cathedral in her uniform at the first sunrays.

Despair is something funny when you think about it. You might act unimaginably when you contemplate there is no other way around. Believing in the Goddess’s existence after seeing her and receiving a new life was one thing; standing in the middle of a silent chilly Cathedral that you rarely set your feet on and that would be wrecked into ruins in less than a year was another.

Pondering to pray to a holy being that admitted not being able to do much fell in which category?

“This is… ridiculous. Would you laugh at my face?” She whispered bitterly as she walked with small steps between the benches and sighed. “I guess not. To counterbalance the image I had of you and what you showed me is difficult most of the time. Old habits are harder to die than my classmates, it seems.” Edelgard scoffed at her remark. “Look at this, I’m even _joking_ about it.”

Leaning on one of the benches in the front row with her right hip, the bearer of the Crest of Flames glimpsed at the statues in front of the stained glass with the Crest of Seiros. If any of them were supposed to represent the Goddess she met, they were absurdly farfetched. Maybe, if there was something that resembled at least a bit of Sothis, Edelgard would feel more at ease.

How troublesome would be to trespass the Holy Tomb and talk to the empty Throne of Knowledge?

“I have enough trouble to handle already, dealing with Rhea’s ire would do me no good,” she answered herself while sitting on the front bench. Looking nowhere specifically, just the ceiling, she lamented. “I also don’t understand why am I like this. When they left me and Hubert to follow our teacher, I declared them as good as dead in my head. I was even prepared to kill them should they ever stand in my way.”

The woman turned into a teenager again clenched her fists and closed her eyes. This was when she declared war. Albeit with the uncertainty of loyalty, until the very moment she took off her mask as Flame Emperor, she knew her classmates were not simply classmates to her.

“They were… the closest of a family I had after all I’d been through. A rowdy, chaotic, hard to manage bunch, but still… somehow a family.”

Edelgard smiled lightly. For someone who figured their path would be lonesome, the wishful thinking she could have close allies to share the burden was a trap. The first step to deception is to hope, and she can’t deny having hoped. Yet, there she was, back to the beginning, when everything was easier and, on the surface, her only worry - _certainty_ \- was that those peaceful, although filled with action, days would end someday.

Not only that but also the fault would be hers.

In limited moments the lack of sleep took a toll on her reasoning, the part of her who simply wanted to have a normal life and enjoy the days as her peers did grow to be a bit more noticeable. If she disregarded all the scorn she held for the Church and Rhea, Garreg Mach was filled with possibilities of future and joy. Oh, if only she could leave the past behind and run from her shackles; if she could hold the hand she desperately wanted to reach and be held back.

But the night horrors, guilty for her escape of reality, were also the reminder she could never be simply a schoolgirl. The past was attached to her back as uncomfortably growing wings, promising a painful flight once she gave up the ground and hurting and overloading her with every inch it grew.

Now more than ever.

“When you explained your reasons to let the Professor be engulfed on this eternal loop, I agreed with you when you said it was selfish. My teacher, she is strong, she is capable, she is…” Edelgard smiled at herself again, denying the life of a schoolgirl but blushing like one merely by remembering the one who grasped her heart. “The best person I know, the one I would trust completely to do anything.”

The Princess felt her heart shrinking and gut contorting when her view of her classmates, which verged hallucinations, muddled her sight. She bit her lower lip to the point of bleeding to control herself.

“But this… This is a lot. No one should pass through it,” the girl stopped from saying, but not from thinking ‘specially not twice’ when her siblings came to her mind. “Therefore, I understand now when you declared it was out of love. If my passing through this is a way to keep her from living and remembering it once more, then I’ll keep on doing it on her behalf gladly.”

Her head dropped as her neck was caught with exhaustion. Her eyelids started to weigh and Edelgard did not know if the tears were a mechanism of defense to her dry eyeballs, or if she had lost all control over her emotions. With dark drops forming in her uniform, she begrudgingly concluded the former was closer to the answer.

“I’m not sure how much I can take it, though,” she whispered a hoarse plea. Even so, she knew deep down that the Goddess had heard her, not for the volume of her voice, but from the screaming of her heart.

Edelgard did not try to stop her full weeping. There was no reason to keep the strong façade in the state of mind she found herself in, much less to the holy being that stripped down her armor and touched her soul. Even with her limited power, the mere fact Sothis could be listening to her cries was soothing. The feeling, the impression, the certainty she was not alone in this crusade brought the Princess unknown strength to carry on with what she was meant to do.

“If you watch over me,” she managed to say between ragged breath, “I can move forward. That’s all I ask of you, Goddess.”

A weak laugh escaped her mouth. A bit mocking, but much fuller of understanding than sneering.

“This is what they call faith, isn’t it?” She lifted her head, focusing on the empty altar. “It’s the first time I sense I can feel it towards you with all my being.”

The remaining of her tears no longer knew if they were dropping out of sadness and despair or out of blessed plenitude. A timid grin joined them, and an almost automatic sniff to keep nasal fluids from drifting, a sound unbecoming of a noble, broke the spell. Edelgard laughed at herself, now mirth defining it. What would be others’ reaction, if anyone saw her like this?

When her stomach reminded her that she still had to get breakfast to begin her day, her porcelain face was already dry. Giving one last longing glance to the altar, as if she could see the petit Goddess grinning back at her, she stood up and went back through the way she came from. If the first time her steps were careful, for the fear of losing ground, now she stood the ground with the assurance that she was being guided on her path. 

Bright sun rays startled her lilac eyes already used to the dimness of the Cathedral. Edelgard lifted her gloved right hand to protect them as she traversed the stone bridge back to the monastery grounds. At its middle, she detected a familiar assembly of a long feminine uniform with a lowered blue-haired head. The leader of the Black Eagles suspected Marianne did not see her at all, what was confirmed when they were both few feet from each other and the Golden Deer student left out a tiny surprised squeak.

“I’m sorry to be in your way,” she meekly stated, as she stepped to her left.

Instead of proceeding with her walk, Edelgard looked at the girl. Her whole body screamed fear, with hands holding each other at her chest, curved back and avoiding light brown eyes. Margrave Edmund’s heir was much like Von Varley’s, to the point the future Emperor knew the best way to approach was with caution not to scare the cornered animal. On normal days, the platinum-haired girl would just greet the other noble and go with her day.

But albeit preceded by a usual night, that was no longer a normal day.

Focusing on the bags under the other girl’s eyes, Edelgard felt almost like looking at a mirror of sorts. “Did you have trouble sleeping as well?”

Marianne carefully glanced back at her, doubting the question was made directed to herself. Not finding any other person Edelgard could be referring to, she turned to the shorter girl, not quite meeting her eyes. “Yes,” she answered almost inaudibly. “How do you know?”

“Well, there aren’t many reasons to come so early to pray as having your sleep taken away. To come before eating anything is the recipe for a disaster. Only those desperate would assort to the risk,” the Eagle stated with due composure, looking back to the discussed place. She decided there would be no gain to point out the prominent feature that gave up the truth. “Being one of the latter, I can relate.”

There was a sound of acknowledgment from the shy girl, but she avoided Edelgard even more after her little speech. The Princess could not blame her, for her reaction to patronizing was quite similar, even if more defiant than scared.

Perhaps it had been a mistake to stop Marianne in the first place.

“The Goddess shelters those haunted by the shadows and gives us what we need,” Edelgard stated before she could stop herself. The dumbfounded stare she received in response made her regret even more, but it was too late to not go on. “You have been a devout longer than I, so you know it better than me. If she could forgive someone like me, I’m sure she hears your pleas.”

Months ago, Edelgard would have cut her own throat after hearing such words coming from herself. After meeting the petit Progenitor God, though, and letting faith grow inside her, she could only smirk in self-discovery.

She bowed to take her leave and turned. Her chest felt lighter, but her body was still fatigated. Ironically, Edelgard had the impression she could sleep easily and for a long time if she had a chance to lay down again. A yawn fought its way to her mouth and the noble brought the hand there out of habit.

“Have you met her?”

Her feet stopped with the unsure voice of her colleague. She had barely taken three to four steps. Her arm dropped slowly as she pondered if she should turn back to the Alliance noble. Had she given away the fact? Was it that obvious?

She did turn, fists formed in a tight grip. The left one relaxed to let her palm meet her hip. Edelgard wondered if just being in that pose made her feel in control of the situation. However, looking back at the blue-haired girl, she understood there was no control to take. The light brown eyes that stared at her were hesitant. It was not an inquisition; it was a hopeful question.

“Yes, in a way,” she let out after some seconds. Marianne first reacted straightening her spine and raising the strength of the grip in her hands. 

“Are you sure… she will someday give me what I want?”

Edelgard frowned at the question. The doubt within someone as devout as the girl was unexpected. She always took for certainty all those who prayed with fervor were sure of the fact, that the Goddess would hear and bless them. Was her belief shaken after a myriad of unheard prayers? Her lips formed a tiny smile in empathy.

She struggled a lot and was not heard; she knows that feeling way too well. When she gave up the heavens, her decision became to grasp salvation with her own hands. She had the perspective of achieving it, that is why she could take such privilege to renounce divine intervention. What kind of fight does Marianne pass through to have only the Goddess to put her hope into?

“She might hear your wish, but what we want is different from what we need. I wanted vengeance, but… she bestowed upon me forgiveness and gave me another path to trail. She knows better.”

Marianne’s glance dropped, and Edelgard sighed.

“I believe one day you will see it. She will show you.”

Their eyes met again briefly. The Princess felt like a liar: there was no guarantee Sothis would do so. Being able to meet her was a huge blessing, but the Goddess had something to ask back from her. Most people never get the same chance.

Her feet dragged her through the bridge once more, leaving the Deer behind. Yet, few steps later, curiosity took the best of her, and Edelgard beheld Marianne again.

She was bowing to her direction.

Before she could raise, Edelgard hurried her pace.

Although sleepiness battled with her eyelids, her legs took her to the Mess Hall, rather than back to her quarters, out of habit. If her vision was almost going all black, with drowsiness winning the fight, the scene she encountered made her eyes go wide. The Black Eagles were almost all reunited on one big table. A rare occasion, for usually Linhardt would have to be awakened to class after skipping breakfast, Bernadetta would eat by herself in her room and Hubert would not be mingled with them without her there.

There was a bittersweet sensation watching that picture. For the first time in the last month, Edelgard could gaze them without a horror show appearing. Each of them had their bodies complete, with no trace of blood in their skin of clothes. She sighed in relief for that. Still, her chest tightened. Not only they were full, but also, they were undoubtingly joyful. There was no surprise that their table was the loudest, and their carefree face showed no sign of the weight from after their last two missions.

Yes, they were truly happy.

And she would be the one to take it away from them.

“Oh, here you are,” a hand tapped her shoulder and a thunder ran through her body with recognition of the voice. “I went looking for you to join us, but couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Professor Byleth stood next to her, looking at the direction of the Black Eagles.

“You went looking for me?” Edelgard parroted, out of better answers to give after reacting to the bare touch.

“Yeah. Hubert wanted to do it, but Dorothea insisted he should stay put. I think she feared he wouldn’t bring you even if he found you. And if you both didn’t come, it was likely Linhardt and Bernadetta would run away.”

“That is valid reasoning, I’m afraid,” the student chuckled. A grimace came back to her brow when surveying her colleagues, however.

“So, where had you gone to?” Byleth waved to the table, and Dorothea waved back enthusiastically. Cornflower blue pierced lilac, and Edelgard followed her teacher as she started walking.

After remembering how to speak again, she answered. “I was at the Cathedral.”

Byleth blinked, surprised. “Were you praying?”

The student smirked. “We could say so.”

“I never took you for a religious one,” Byleth commented a bit before arriving at their table.

Edelgard’s smile became light laughter. “Me neither.”

Leaving a troubled Professor behind, the house leader let herself be dragged by Dorothea to a chair between her and Hubert. The generally unfazed mask on the older woman, now in front of her, allowed the puzzling feeling that overcame her show in her frown.

“What a shame, Edelgard, that you should wake up so late! That’s not becoming of a noble, much less the future Emperor! But fear not, for I, Ferdinand von Aegir, future Prime Minister, will make sure you no longer raise as of late again!”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Hubert venomous whispered.

“Actually, she wasn’t sleeping. I just found her at the entrance when I was coming back,” Byleth stated looking at her big plate ready to be devoured.

“Oh, and here I was thinking the both of you were taking a bit _too much_ time to come!”

Dorothea glanced at Edelgard after insinuating ulterior motives between them. Five years more did not prepare the future Emperor to hold her cool and not blush when her friend made that kind of remark; however, she was wiser to know any grand reaction would make the former singer even more pleased.

“Well, I was _busy_ ,” she said, thanking rapidly Hubert for the plate he had prepared in advance for her. “But not with what you’re thinking.”

“With what would it be, then?” The Cheshire grin grew wider.

“I was following your advice. It worked well. I must thank you for that.”

The pleased face in Dorothea became a confused scowl, much to Edelgard’s amusement.

“Edie, what are you talking about?”

And she could not hold her sneer.

“I was at the Cathedral,” she answered, looking her in the eyes. “Praying to the Goddess actually helped me sort some things.”

Hubert started making unintelligible sounds, and the whole table turned to the Imperial retainer choking in his own food. Caspar soon appeared behind him to push his abdomen in a maneuver to help him. Linhardt pointed out he should push directing more to the thorax for it to work. Bernadetta had her hair up in desperation with the scene. Ferdinand was petrified by Hubert’s right, still unable to understand what was happening. Petra asked Dorothea what was Caspar doing to Hubert, but the woman seemed to have a lot going on her mind to promptly answer.

Edelgard observed her teacher. She was watching the student choking but did not look alarmed.

When Hubert managed to cough up and make the food enter the right hole, the damage was already done. Unsurprisingly, the whole Mess Hall was watching the Black Eagles.

“Goodness, Edie!” Dorothea finally spoke. “You almost killed poor Hubert!” 

The bearer of the Crest of Flames did not remember the last time she let herself be taken by full-blown laughter. It was a strange sensation because it felt her whole body was contracting and it was hard to breathe. When she was able to contain it a bit, Edelgard opened her eyes to see Professor Byleth trying to keep her cool and not do the same thing than her, managing to simply smile broadly. 

It was an unusual, yet pleasant image.

Edelgard decided that being able to see that smile again was also one of the Goddess’s blessings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now I can admit that another of the reasons I wanted to continue my previous work was to make Edelgard pray to a Goddess she now knew existed. 
> 
> I'm not a believer, but it's like the phrase I used at the beginning of the chapter (which I just discovered it's from Sartre, not actually Black Veil Brides heh). The hope of a greater power able to save us comes in most desperate times. 
> 
> I'm playing Cindered Shadows, and they come at a fortunate time, for it'll make my life easier with this fic. 
> 
> See y'all next time!

**Author's Note:**

> It was stronger than me, so here it is. Of course, the positive feedback from The Goddess's Judgement reinforced my writing drive. I am sure I could never end it if I dared to write a complete retelling, therefore it never came close to my aims. I was troubled over if I could still call them one-shots if they are connected in the same work and each kind of depends on the previous ones. In the end, I decided against it.
> 
> On other notes, I am happy to notice more fanfics with related ideas to the first part! Long live to exploring all the possibilities! 
> 
> See ya next time!


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